ARGGH! RELAX?? just relax you say? they say? they all say? ….shush!!! and try to feel what i feel in my body!
I write this now, remembering those exclamations reeling often inside of me, when i was TTC. so i tell you now, firstly don’t listen to anybody.
don’t listen to any-body but YOUR BODY . and to that body, please DO listen good.
everyone has an opinion. and where do these come from? consciously or not (mostly not:-) those opinions come from THEIR body. that is, their own experience or also, inexperience. people tell you what they did or would do. primarily. don’t listen to no-body!
but DO- listen to YOUR body.
now let’s talk about relaxing because indeed many clients and friends are asking me – how do i relax? i got to commiserate here – this is a toughy. your body is pushing you, physiologically. this soul is calling you (if you will allow these term:-) – spiritually.
you are being pushed and pulled. this stuff is deep.
make space for it.
make space? yes, make a place. a space for the TRUTH of what is calling or pushing you…(if those are your terminologies) or let’s call it simply – for what you desire. make space for the FEELING of BIG desire. space is antidote to push-pull.
…make an altar, paint a mural, paint your whole room with colors and strokes of what you feel . go for a walk and stomp that desire into the ground (not to bury, i don’t mean that. to express and share. earth is mama). talk to DEAR, trusted friends and set up that time. don’t leak it out. dance, like no one is watching (and maybe make sure they aren’t:-)
make space for the desire to be known and expressed by YOU! cuz really – you, with your desire is all that is here. no one, not even the most intimates, can KNOW what you feel. create space for your feeling. your desire. journaling?
…even crying. do you want to cry? make a time, a place. time to start, time to finish. pre-prepare the props. teddy bear? flowers on the side table of the bed?
cry. why? you are not sad. you are emotional. you are desiring and that has emotions – all kinds. fear, love (tons and tons of love). joy even (maybe not bec you saw the two pink lines yet, but because you know how loving you are to want this so much). there are emotions of sadness too, of course. crying is a great way to make space for desire. set up a safe space, alone or with a buddy. have an end time. and a shower or face-splash to complete – then move on in your day or into your night.
why? crying IS innately healing. what does healing mean? becoming more whole. can you become more whole while TTC? it would be your best idea!
can you relax? let’s get out of the push-pull to relax. that is -obviously – stress.
let’s focus on what you want. let’s get you KNOWLEDGE and SUPPORT to do your best. Let’s get you SPACE to express desire.
then, it is not bound. it is not locked and thus tense. and when desire moves (expressed) it has a funny way of vibrating and then resonating with other pieces in the ethers that come to support it – happening!
got it? we welcome your comments. (and questions, of course)
btw- i never really relaxed in my 5 year over 40 years-old journey to TTC.
but i did have skills (as above) to express. to feel. to know myself better. i do wish, in retrospect, i had listened to ALL of “them”, much, much less. 🙂
during the first year i was TTC, i found the following quote on some TTC online chat by one woman who had just seen her BFP. it is STILL on a virtual-sticky-note on my desktop. makes me smile every time:-)
Being patient and calm didn’t help me, I didn’t practice either, I just submitted myself to the lord for his will and went on my normal maniac way.